Emotions are good as well as bad. Emotions channelized properly becomes devotion. If not they can become commotion. So, it is very important to manage emotions effectively.
Talk to yourself lovingly: Talk to yourself using your name. For example, if I have to talk to myself I will say ‘Girish, everything is good. Now, it is time to relax. You have worked a lot. At this age take it easy. Girish, be peaceful’. Whatever happens never ever be rough with yourself.
Watch your mind like a witness: Try controlling a mischievous child by shouting at them. They will get all the more mischievous. Instead, don’t say anything. Just keep watching them with full attention. As soon they realize that they are being watched they will calm down and stop the mischief.
The mind is like a child. The more you stop it from doing something the more it retaliates. When you just observe your mind, that is, your thoughts, like a witness it will slow down.
Don’t repress your emotions: Repression is the act of suppressing the mind by force.
Each of us have some desires which cannot be fulfilled. For example, you have a desire for a bigger house but you cannot afford it. You may land up suppressing this desire so much that you may say that you do not want a big house at all. Although subconsciously you do want it.
You can suppress a desire or even an emotion such as anger or sorrow. They are suppressed to such an extent that you try to forget and also negate its existence. You might think that you do not have the emotion or feelings at all. But this is actually repression. This may come to the surface any time and that too in abnormal ways such as obsession or bi-polar disease. One of my patients developed schizophrenia. He was from a lower middle-class family. One day he got an attack. He became a policeman and started stopping traffic on the road. It was then that his family identified that something is wrong with him. Another patient of mine wanted to become a film director. One day she got an attack. She started talking to people around her as if she were a film director. Soon it was found out that she is abnormal. The deeper unfulfilled desire was to become a director.
How to manage repressions?
Prevention is better than cure. Learn to prevent these emotions in the first place. For this, you must put efforts in a realistic way. If my patient, who started behaving like a policeman, would have put-in efforts in a realistic way by studying hard his life would have been different.
I once met a very successful IAS officer and asked him how he managed to reach the top. Within seconds he had tears in his eyes. He said that he has a very powerful emotional story behind this success. When he was young maybe 12 to 13 years old he stayed in a village and was quite poor. An officer visited the village in a car. His mother said saw the officer and said ‘I wish one day my son also reaches the same status and comes home in the same car’. He took this very seriously and to fulfill his mother’s desires he worked day and night to become an IAS officer.
So if emotions are managed properly they can take you higher. If not problems are bound to come.
However, many times you may not be able to prevent it or what if the incident has already happened. In such cases, though it is difficult it can still be managed. I will be covering this in my next article.