Are you sick of your negative inner chatter that nobody knows?
Billions of people like you have this inner chatter every day. And wonder if they can somehow make it positive, and make it work for them.
But unless you know the right techniques, the right methods, you can never make this inner chatter help you succeed.
What if we told you there’s a better way? What if we told you self-talk could work for you, help motivate you, and bring you success too?
How Does Self-talk Help?
Talking with yourself helps organize your thoughts. Talking with yourself helps you succeed. Because a conversation holds your attention.
Conversing with yourself focuses your attention on the issue, and sorts it out. Otherwise like snap chat, your inner chatter is lost or distracted, with the slightest disturbance or interruption.
According to Einstein, people who talk to themselves are exceptional. They rely only on themselves for their needs.
Types of Helpful Self-talk
The three types of helpful self talk are:
Good for tasks or when you need speed, strength, and power.
Technique: Refer to yourself in the third person. Instead of saying ‘I can do it’, replace it with ‘You can do it’.
- You look at situations more objectively and are efficient at managing difficult emotion
- When you refer to yourself in the third-person, you create enough distance from your negative self-talk. And increase your emotional control by a great extent. It is like the space you are in when you advise a friend
- Use it to psych yourself up for something challenging or boost your self-confidence
- You can do it
- You will succeed
- You’re a genius
Perfect for focus and strategy.
Technique: Identify the common threads of your dialogue.
Why: How you talk to yourself about events and people can inspire and boost your energy and enthusiasm. Or it can deplete all your resources. So, take the time to write important and frequent threads. Then, identify what you want to achieve. Now, match your self-talk to your needs. Use keywords or small phrases.
Examples: If you identify in your self-talk that you constantly doubt your success. Or you worry that you’ll be unable to do it, instruct yourself
- From 9 pm to 10 pm, do this.
- From 10 pm to 10:30, do that.
This way you’ll focus on the task at hand rather than worry about it.
Great for changing attitudes, belief systems, and perspective.
Technique: Use empowering quotes, sentences, and realizations to delete old belief systems you want to change. Repeat them to yourself regularly.
Why: To switch gears. Neuroplasticity says, as you create a new neural pathway, the old one dies because it stops getting attention.
Arise, awake and stop not till you reach your goal.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
What kind of gears can you switch to?
Gratitude gear: Challenge yourself to see the benefit in every situation, the silver lining in every cloud.
Complaint-free assertiveness gear: Catch yourself when you’re about to complain or gossip about something or someone. Challenge yourself to stop saying it, or mention the facts without putting any negative emotions or judgments. Only state the facts, and only to the people who can do something about it.
Example: Tell the waiter that the soup is cold. Don’t complain to your friends and get upset.
After learning to talk to yourself, it’s time to take care of yourself. You must visit your family doctor often. Get your regular checkups done to have a healthy body.
How about doing a checkup and taking care of yourself?
What is Self-Care in a Busy World?
Being your own best friend
You tend to look to others, your job, holidays, or the world in general to fulfill your emotional needs. When your expectations aren’t met, you feel down or angry.
Check the next time you feel unappreciated, misunderstood, unheard, unseen, disrespected or unacknowledged. Stop and ask yourself: Do I appreciate, understand, hear, see, respect, or acknowledge myself?
Do you play tennis or watch movies when stressed?
Or do you rely on your friends to cheer you up?
What if this external support is gone? Can you still cheer yourself?
Self-care is to ask yourself what was it about that hobby or friend which made it your go to. Was it how it made you feel? Alive, happy, present, peaceful, free, connected, courageous, or calm?
Now check – was it the hobby, or the way you felt, that drew you towards the hobby or friend? Is there something else you can now do, to create that same feeling for yourself?
Taking care of yourself and not your ego
It’s a wonderful habit to review your self-care every now and then. But, if it isn’t working for you, maybe you fell into ego-care.
Ego-care is about molding yourself to fit the bill, to receive praise or award.
Self-care is about uncovering, recognizing your unique gift, valuing it, and sharing it with the world. The question is: What can you give to the world? What is your unique specialty?
Succeed using the right method
When you trample on your core values or conscience, you might still succeed. But guilt follows this kind of success.
Self-care is to live by your values, gain your self-respect, and achieve untainted success. Look out for any twinges of conscience. They’ll lead you to your core values.
Pay attention to the company you keep
Do the people around you encourage and bring out the best in you? If not, then change the people whom you spend time with.
It is time you start taking care of yourself in this busy world. Let the chaotic life not distract you from being the real you.