Every man is the architect of his own life. However, when something goes wrong, we immediately start looking for someone or something to blame.
While shaping our lives, let’s sit back and reflect how much time and energy we spend on blaming others for all the problems.
Why do we tend to blame others?
Free the self from guilt
We subtly want to redeem ourselves of the guilt of doing something wrong. Blaming others helps us justify the act. We pass on the responsibility of our behavior to a person, situation or an external factor. And all this sounds very normal. Many times we hear people say that ‘I am responsible for my actions’ but do they mean it? If they really meant it they would be free from blaming others. Be it friends, family, society or even weather.
While playing this blame game we forget that as per the Law of Karma, the ones who change themselves first are the ones who get the gift of happiness. Hence if we are seekers of happiness, then we have to change ourselves and not wait for others to do so.
Not recognizing our faults
We fail to recognize our own mistakes because we always think that ‘I am right’. The inability to see things or situations from the other person’s point of view results in we getting attached to our own rights and wrongs. This, in turn, leads to us correcting others which more often than not fails. This failure makes us feel miserable and then it becomes a vicious cycle. We blame others for our misery and try harder to change them.
Not putting in efforts to change
Another reason for blaming others is the laziness to make changes to the self. Any change requires effort and we do not want to put in the effort. Therefore we choose the easier path of blaming others. We feel that things could have been better if the other person behaved properly with us. Gradually it becomes a habit of lethargy in a royal disguise.
Blaming the situation
When we are unable to find someone to blame, we end up blaming the situation. While doing so, we forget the fact that all the situations in our lives are our own creations.
Blaming The Almighty
This happens because of two reasons.
First – when there is no one who can be blamed and blaming a situation does not work then only God is left who can be blamed.
Second – a deep-rooted belief that everything in the world happens by the will of The Supreme. As a result, our personal plight is also an outcome of God’s desire. We forget that everything we experience in the present is a result of our deeds in the past. We all are actors who fall under the law of karma & perform actions to derive fruit out of it. Almighty never gets a share out of it. As our Teacher & Guide, HE can teach us and guide us. But cannot appear in the exam for us.
Unpleasant situations are examinations of life. These are necessary to elevate one’s stage. These help in taking a leap forward in self-progress. Whether we fail or pass in these examinations doesn’t matters much. What counts is the courage & vigor with which we face these examinations.
For self-evolution, the habit of blaming is one of the major obstacles. The first rule of spirituality is observing one’s own self and not others. Hence it is very important to take responsibility of the experiences we undergo. Then make a conscious effort to do right and be honest and accountable to ourselves. Deceiving ourselves will only take us further away from spiritual liberation. So, stop blaming and start aiming because when you blame others, you give up your power to change.