September 10, 2023
Yesterday we identified how owing to one wrong belief, we thought that happiness depends on our achievements. Today, let us check two more incorrect happiness beliefs and understand the truth.
Belief 2: I can buy happiness.
Suppose I believe that buying my dream car gives me happiness. I may purchase and own the most expensive car. I have essentially bought physical comfort. While on a long drive in it, I could get one phone call conveying an unpleasant news which finishes my happiness. If my car gave happiness, happiness would stay despite the call. Even after the call, my car continues to give physical comfort and my physical body is comfortable. Since happiness is an emotional comfort, it disappeared when I (who is looking for happiness) went into pain after the call. Why do we feel happy upon buying a car? Because when we create a thought – I bought my dream car, it generates a feeling of happiness. So, we used an object (car) as a stimulus to create a response (positive thought).
Truth: Let us not purchase objects seeking happiness in them. Everything physical is designed to give physical comfort. Happiness is an emotional comfort.
Belief 3: Family and friends give me happiness.
Moving between acceptance and expectations, our relationships are getting strained. We focus on what to get from relationships rather than what to give. Our expectations from each other are increasing. We are accepting people only when they, speak, behave as per our needs. If I equate my happiness to others obeying me, it cannot last. As soon as someone obeys the first time, I give them my next expectation. So, happiness leaves me at this point, only to return if the person obeys again. Otherwise, I get upset. People have their definitions of rights and wrongs, so setting expectations will always spoil relationships and reduce your happiness.
Truth: No one can make us happy or sad. Happiness is our emotion, our internal creation regardless of the quality of our relationships.