How to Stay Peaceful When Someone Criticizes You

Most of us build our sense of identity from the external things of the world: other people's opinions, the roles we play, the money we have, and the positions we hold. But self-respect that is built externally is fragile. When someone criticizes us and we become defensive, it is because we feel they are chipping away at that fragile self-respect. We feel they are somehow destroying the identity we have worked so hard to build for our own comfort. And so, we defend ourselves, feel threatened, and attack.

When someone criticizes us and we feel wounded, it can send the soul into a dark space of pain. But what it reveals is that underneath that fragile self-respect built on the things of the world, there is a place where the soul does not feel valuable, where it feels unloved. If we want to go beyond the effects of criticism, we have to go to that place where we cannot be diminished or chipped away at.

Take a moment now and breathe slowly. Just let go inside yourself, going deeper and deeper as you relax more and more into a place of silence and peace. Imagine that you are a beautiful spirit, a light, an energy suspended in this world of matter and form, of time, but untouched by it, as if you are miles away, deep, deep inside, in a sanctuary of light that is you. This is the place where you can experience the soul, the peace, the love, the purity, and the light that cannot be diminished.

Hold the thought now: I am peace. I am peace. Fully savour that thought, allowing that peace to settle deep inside you, allowing it to pour through you, simply holding the thought, I am peace. See yourself as a peaceful soul, a spirit, a beautiful light.

And now, hold the thought: I am joy and lightness. I am joy and lightness. Again, savour that thought. Feel the joy pour through your mind. Hold the awareness: Yes, I am joy and lightness. Just feel that happiness.

And now, hold the thought: I am eternal. I, the I, am more than these dramas, more than these roles. I am eternal. I exist forever.

The more we enter into the soul space, the easier it is to avoid feeling diminished by someone's criticism, because our sense of value is based on something eternal, something deeper, something that no one can destroy. This only takes practice, but when someone criticizes us, instead of defending ourselves and trying to protect our fragile self-respect, it is good to take time to go into silence and ask: Can I be in this space right now, in the soul space, and not allow myself to be diminished? Can I let that criticism pass through me and remember that I am light? I am something deeper than the fragile identity I have created from the things of the world.

If we can learn this practice, in time, we can go beyond the effects of criticism.