Shifting From Control To Concern
When people sense that you are concerned for them, they come closer. If they feel that you are trying to control them, they move away. We have the best intentions for people, in pointing out how they can change and what they need to change, but our concern can turn into control at times.
1. People can only be according to their capacities. Create the right quality of thoughts of love and compassion for them. When you remain stable and then share with others why or what they need to change, then it is only for their benefit and not for your own happiness.
2. When expressing concern, remove the energy of – My method is right, you have to follow it -from the foundation of that relationship. Accept that your and their method is different, only then they will be receptive to your concern and they will make an effort to follow your method, which you have suggested.
3. Although you may not be angry with people, if you create a thought that they are wrong, an energy of control reaches them. They try to move away as no one wants to be controlled. After sending this energy to them, even if you express concern politely, they will defend themselves.
4. Concern is solution-oriented, whereas Control is problem-oriented. When you try to control someone, you attack their habit or behaviour, so they will attack yours in return. Your logic will be countered by their logic, and an argument gets triggered.