Comparisons – The Cause of Sibling Rivalry And Low Self Esteem
Children born in the same family, have similar present environment, same parents, but both are carrying a bundle of sanskars of many past births and their own karmic accounts. One could be introvert, the other extrovert; one could be brilliant at studies, the other creative; one could be sincere, the other lazy… it is because of the sanskars which the two souls are carrying before they came into the same family. Comparison between them is therefore not justified. When we appreciate one more than the other, even if the intention is motivation, it creates deep wounds. The child grows up feeling that the parents love the other child more. How much ever you try to explain that you love them equal, the wound is very deep. If one child was appreciated more, means the parents love that child more. This becomes the cause of sibling rivalry. The child considers his sibling to be the cause of his parents not loving him. This child grows up with an inferiority complex, and the other grows up with a superiority complex, and always tends to dominate the other one. Comparison and criticism become the main reasons because of which the child does not develop a strong self respect.
Never compare your child to the sibling or friends. Appreciate the qualities of each individually and help them to create new sanskars. The appreciation, motivation and creation of the new sanskar has to be done in individual capacity without references to anyone else. This helps in making the child emotionally strong and develops a high self esteem. Let us take a decision, from today to never compare anyone. Each one’s past is different and so even if everything in the present is identical, there is no comparison.