There is a quote on the internet – I love you so much it hurts. It is high time this thought changes. Love is an empowering feeling and something which hurts cannot be empowering.
True love is unconditional
True love is not a surge of emotions. It is a a treasure of very deep understanding and unconditional acceptance. Understanding of the self and of the other person. Being comfortable with their short comings and above all accepting their shortcomings unconditionally.
Become a pillar of strength and support
True love is to become a pillar of strength and support no matter what. We often support others when they are doing things as per our will. Testing time comes when you are a pillar of strength when things are not going your way.
Going beyond reactions
To give unconditional love it is necessary to think beyond emotions. Understand their state of mind and provide the support they need. For this we need to start going beyond their reactions.
These days almost everybody is wounded. Unhappy relations, child abuse, health issues, death etc. Many such traumatic experiences. These result in hatred, fear low self esteem etc. Reactions are from such past wounds. Unfortunately we are not aware of it. It is difficult to understand the exact trigger from the past but empathizing helps.
Behind every unpleasant reaction there is hurt or pain which needs healing. Once we start seeing the pain the reaction becomes less meaningful. We can focus on giving.
Weak people have negative vibrations and thoughts. Next time we meet such a person we need to remember that this is a wounded person. Greater the wound, weaker the person. So let not their weakness put us off.
Nobody wants to be negative. It is their internal weakness that is causing the negativity to emanate. In a peaceful state of mind, they too realize their mistakes. They are helpless. We need to see their negativity as their helplessness. This acts as a shield against all negativity. We are able to contribute positively in others’ lives.
Forgive and Forget
We all have shortcomings. We often expect others to bear with our negative reactions. Do we do the same thing to them? Just like I can have my bad moods and shortcomings so can others. To err is human, to forgive is divine.
We often think that the mistakes I make are not gross but others mistakes are unforgivable. On checking ourselves we realize that we are always wearing the hat of self-defense. Once we are out of this hat our mistakes will be equally gross.
For this the first thing that is required is to accept that nobody is perfect. All are trying their best based on their own capacity to give.
Focus on the strengths of others
Generally when we come in contact with people our focus remains on their weaknesses. In this process, our attitude and behavior towards them becomes negative. The negative image in our minds seeps our energy and makes us negative. We end up weakening ourselves and our relations with them. To actually empower them start seeing their strengths. This will create positive energy from us which will help others. This will give them confidence and make our relations better with them.
Motherly attitude towards others
Having a motherly attitude helps increase love in relations. A mother knows all the shortcomings of her child. But she never absorbs them or hates her child for it. She helps her child get over these shortcomings by empowers them. Having such an approach allows us to send positive vibrations to others. This creates a circle of positive vibrations and increases love in relations.
You can give only when you have
Often it is noticed that when we are unhappy with the self we are also unhappy with others. To give love first you have to love yourself. To give happiness you must first be happy. Work on increasing self love (hyperlink) and loving others will become easier.
Everybody is unique. Love and respect others and the self for the uniqueness. Give love, get love.