The Art of Remaining Uninfluenced

I am no better than anyone, I am no worse than anyone, I am what I am. 

No-one in this world is ordinary. Everyone is special and lucky in their own way. There’s something unique in everyone which no-one in the world has. There’s nobody like you. You are the only you.

However, most of us don’t recognize our specialties. Even if you do, you don’t use them. Giving excuses such as a busy life, children, no time, no opportunity, etc has become a norm. As a result, your specialties don’t grow. When you don’t use your specialties, you lose them.

People get influenced very easily by seeing others’ specialties. They get impressed, jealous or feel worthless. Very rarely people remain stable and appreciate, admire or are happy about others’ specialties. All this happens because of a lack of self-respect.

What does it mean to have self-respect?

Having self-respect means knowing your specialties and also being aware of your weaknesses. Knowing only your specialties develops arrogance. Knowing only your weaknesses can cause a lack of self-esteem. Identify your weakness and don’t feel guilty about it. This is accepting yourself. Acceptance leads to self-love. Appreciate yourself the way you are.

Identifying your specialties helps develop self-respect and accepting your weakness keeps you stable. This, in turn, increases your self-respect further.

Nowadays, in a minute you find people giggling and smiling and the next minute they are depressed. This is because in a moment they think they are everything and the next minute they think they are nothing. These kinds of upheavals are a result of a lack of self-respect.

Having high self-respect means not to underestimate or overestimate yourself.

‘I am no better than anyone, I am not worse than anyone, I am what I am’.

A person with high self-respect admires, appreciates and acknowledges others’ specialties. It creates zeal and enthusiasm in them.

You bow in front of others to respect and acknowledge their uniqueness. Just like you respect and acknowledge your uniqueness.

What happens when you get quite impressed by someone?

It’s likely that you get so carried away with that person that you lose your self-worth and self-respect. You imitate that person without even thinking. However, you can’t imitate someone for long and be yourself. Sooner or later this leads to hatred or intense dislike towards them

What happens when you’re impressed with yourself?

When you get impressed by your own specialties ego grows.  Once the ‘I’ consciousness begins to develop it becomes a very big obstacle in your progress. You subtly close your doors to learn and refine your skills.

Do you get jealous while seeing others’ specialties?

Feeling worthless, envious or jealous on seeing others specialties is because of lack of self-respect. You’ve not worked on growing and grooming your own specialties. You also lack self-love, appreciation, and acceptance.

To overcome these feelings work on your self-respect.

Being a detached observer

Often it happens that you easily get affected by the weakness of others. It bothers you. You should be in a position of not entertaining the thoughts of botheration. You start disliking them. When you say you don’t like someone you actually don’t like a particular trait or behaviour of that person. For example, you don’t like someone because of their short temper or talkative nature. In such cases keep yourself away from their anger and not from that person. This understanding is very important. When you dislike a person you tend to overlook even the goodness they have. However, when you are clear that you don’t like a particular behaviour of the person you give yourself the chance of seeing the good in them.

Similarly, when you like someone you may start chasing or imitating them. You actually like a particular skill, trait or behaviour in them. Once you understand this you can now work on developing that goodness in yourself as well. Work on understanding what you like in them and develop that in yourself.

If you like someone because of their physical appearance remind yourself that the body is made up of five elements of matter. It will return to dust. What you like is the way they conduct themselves.

I am special. No-one can play my role. I am unique. I don’t have a replacement.